Was I an Undercover Scientist ?

—-

Even though I was very shy, I found I could get onstage if I had a new identity.

David Bowie

—-

Last night whilst I was having trouble sleeping and after touching upon the George Smiley - Tinker Tailor theme I had an amusing thought. At least to me.

Was my involvement with university science over two decades simply a cover story? Had I as a reincarnated Buddhist simply gone out in the cold and infiltrated the UK science network? Was it not inevitable that in the fullness of time my cover was blown as I could I no longer hack it trying to pretend to be a scientist at that level? Did I have to blow my cover-story identity, burn it and get out, before I was fully found out?

They could have me done as a traitor and a spy.

It could be argued that I could only go so far and that the cover naturally ran its course. I simply was not a good fit. I could not hack it at the high level. My hippie background could only pretend for so long.

In principle, though for a relatively brief while, I was at three relatively highly thought of London establishments. I was, aside from Oxbridge, near the “heart (?)” of UK science and science research.

Now I am not…

I do still have some science orientation but that is not a laborious one. There is no pressure on me to publish, produce original work nor bore undergraduates. I don’t have to raise hundreds of thousands of pounds.

I may have a foot in both camps but be a recognised expert in neither.

Maybe my cover story now is that I am a retired person living in France struggling with his skeletal health.

I wonder to what extent others are living a cover story unaware of who or what they actually are?